


Kitten from Hell versus God

by lokischocolatefountain



Series: Loki Loves (1) Midgardian Animal [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Boyfriend Loki, F/M, Jealous Loki (Marvel), Kittens, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki fluff, Loki is a good boyfriend, Loki is a ray of sunshine, Loki is jealous of a kitten, M/M, Multi, Pets, Puppies, Soft Loki, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokischocolatefountain/pseuds/lokischocolatefountain
Summary: A kitten from hell tricks Loki's girlfriend into loving it and worse, getting a pet of their own.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki & puppy, Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Original Female Character & kitten
Series: Loki Loves (1) Midgardian Animal [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711546
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Kitten from Hell versus God

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this video of Loki being delighted by a corgi and couldn't resist...

The creature mewled as she played with it, rolling around on the floor just to earn her amused cooing and awwing. The little shit was desperate for attention and Loki stared it down with contempt from behind the newspaper he was pretending to read. She help up a stick that had a string with feathers attached at the bottom. The kitten lifted its paws up in an attempt to catch it, but was too stupid and lacking in reflexes to succeed. Its display of its helplessness elicited more cooing from her. He glared at the kitten from hell, but it stuck his tongue out at him before blinking innocently at his woman. He rolled his eyes at its reprehensible behaviour and looked away from the pair who were too in love with each other to pay him any attention.

Loki had never held as much hatred for such a little thing ever before. He usually hated to see Steven Rogers, but now he was checking the clock every five seconds like a doting wife awaiting the return of her husband from the battlefield. Steven and his boyfriend James Barnes had found the infernal creature in the rubbles after bringing down a hydra base. It lured them into adopting it with its pitiful eyes and soft meows, just like it has enticed his partner into giving it all her precious attention. The men, unfortunately, had been called in to deal with an emergency at the facility. So, his woman volunteered herself to take care of their kitten until they arrived home.

He checked the clock again. They still had three hours until they would be relieved of their caretaking duties.

“Loki?”

“Yes, dear?”

“You can conjure anything with your magic, right?”

“You know I can. What would you like?”

“A ball of yarn.”

“Are you an old woman? Would you like a pair of knitting needles with it?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“What are you going to do, knit a sweater for the pathetic creature? Is that what it has hypnotised you into doing next?”

“I don’t know how to knit. But, I might learn just to knit this baby a sweater. Won’t you look adorable in a sweater, baby boy? And some socks to protect your toe beans.” There it was again, the low pitched voice she used to talk to the kitten as though it was a human offspring.

“Could you conjure up a laser pointer along with that?”

He furrowed his eyebrows at the strange request. What was she hoping to accomplish with the objects? He was glad that she wanted to do something other than waste all her energy on the kitten. So, he focused his magic on making the objects she desired and in just a few seconds, he had a laser pointer and a ball of red yarn in his hands. “What would you need the two for?”

“Just watch,” she said, refusing to answer the questing and left the kitten’s side to fetch the items from him. Without sparing him a glance, she left him for the kitten and gave it the ball of yarn to play with. The creature rolled the yarn between it two paws, delighted in itself for having hoodwinked a fine woman intoto being its slave. He huffed loudly and returned to reading the newspaper, as boring as it was, to keep him from being further enraged. The creature would be gone within a few hours and he would never have to think about it again. It was not worthy of him picking a fight with her and souring their entire day.

Time went by and it had managed to foolishly tangle itself in the yarn. She pitied it and untangled its tiny body, freeing it from its woollen confines. The idiot had not seemed to have learned anything from its traumatic experience with the yarn and immediately grasped it again, but was pulled away by her. The laser pen was the next to come out and Loki peeped at them from being the newspaper, curious about what she was going to do.

She turned the laser pointer on and focused it away from the yarn, immediately attracting the the kitten’s attention with the red light. It stopped wriggling in her arms and looked at the light with curiosity. She let it be free from her arms and the kitten ran towards the wall to catch the red dot. It jumped up to touch it, but was confused as the dot was now on its paw, not underneath it on the wall. She moved it again, now to the floor, and it followed to capture the taunting dot, but was again unsuccessful as she moved it away from its clutches. Now, this was fun… Better than giving it a ball of yarn to wrap around itself…

“You are torturing a poor, helpless creature with an illusion.”

“Torture? Chill, I’m just playing with him. He likes it!” _He!?_ Since when had the kitten graduated from _it_ to _he_ ?

“No, _it_ has mistaken the dot for prey and hence worthy of hunting and consuming.”

“I don’t get why you suddenly care so much,” she said, still moving the laser pointer around to entertain the cat. This was it. It was over. His love had been lost forever to a four legged creature and he might never have her back again. Before he could dissolve into a puddle of self-pity, the doorbell rang. He sat up straight and rushed to the door, praying to the Norns that it was the couple who owned the cat. Sure enough, it was them. He opened the door and they stepped in, looking quite tired from the day of work.

The men greeted the two of them and inquired about the creature’s behaviour. Uninterested in picking a fight and in a hurry to get them out, he spun lies about how well behaved their animal was. He added colourful words and waxed poetic about the magnificence of the creature in a way he had never spoken of anyone- not even his beloved.

She offered to make the men dinner, but the two declined graciously before they left with their kitten.

A week later, Loki was forced to realise that he had been lulled into a false sense of security about the effect the kitten had on his girlfriend. He believed it all to be over. Since that dreadful day, she hadn’t even seen the kitten- who had now been given the name ‘Fuzzy von Fluffykins’- as the men had found a sitter for it. But, Fluffykins’ spell hadn’t vanished as was evident from her words.

He put down the book on World War II and looked up at her, doubting whether he heard her right. “You wish to have a familiar?”

“No, that’s not- I’m not a witch, Loki. I’m getting a pet.”

“A pet? A familiar, I understand. But, a pet? That would just be a useless creature. It would hang around you apartment and do nothing all day long.”

“Just like you, then,” she snapped at him, stuffing her purse in her larger purse. She could fit her entire apartment in that thing. At least he had his pocket dimension for storage.

“I do the dishes!”

“You order the staff to do the dishes, Loki. You don’t even go near the sink.”

“I get it done. What do you expect me to do, wash them myself? I am a Prince.”

“Spoilt prince,” she muttered as she prepared to leave.

He was annoyed that she would want to have some little animal around in the apartment they lived in together. He saw no point in them owning an animal. It was purchased only by parents who wanted to teach their children the bitter truth about mortality. And to fill a person shaped void in one’s heart. Was his companionship not adequate for her? Was he so dull that she sought an animal companion to charm her?

In a flash of jealousy, he followed her out of their apartment, determined to influence her decision. If she was to introduce a new member into their shared space, he would at least ensure that it was worthy of them.

“I am accompanying you.”

“I can’t stop you, can I?”  
_______________________________________________

They arrived at an animal shelter and Loki had been unsuccessful so far in talking her out of it. He listed every disadvantage he knew on pet ownership. She had perfectly refuted every single one of them. He had used every weapon in his arsenal and was now clueless as to how he would stop her. So, he just followed her into the shelter.

They were greeted by a scraggly, over-enthusiastic teenager when they entered. His voice was as annoying as Fluffykins’ mewls if not worse. Controlling his urge to insult him, he just followed his girlfriend around as she stroked a rabbit who was merrily munching away on lettuce in its cage.

“When I was seven, my cousin had a rabbit just like this one.” She helped it out by moving the lettuce in the corner of the cage closer to its mouth. It paid her little attention before it went to town on the lettuce as though it had been starved for days. Even bilgesnipes did not eat so quickly. “But, I was not allowed to play with Bun-Bun. I’m very close to adopting this one just to rub it in her face.”

“I was not aware you had a cousin named Bun-Bun.”

“I couldn’t have been more clearly referring to the rabbit, babe. The cousin was Karen.”

His nose crinkled in disgust at the thought of that woman. He had the misfortune of meeting her at the last family Chistmas dinner and had to keep from throwing her out of the window. “Karen? Oh, she is dreadful. The two of you are so different, I can hardly believe the two of you are related.”

“You are Thor are related and nothing alike.”

“I was adopted.”

She rolled her eyes at him and went back to petting the Bun-Bun celebrity look-alike. “Anyway, she was dreadful even back then. She didn’t let me play with her rabbit because she knew how much I wanted a pet.”

“You could have gotten your own rabbit instead.”

“No, my parents thought they were useless.”

“Because they are, my dear.”

“Oh, piss off. I couldn’t get a dog either because my dad was allergic. And cats were a huge no because my mom was a dog person who strongly believed cats were evil.”

“Correct, again.”

“Everyone I knew had a pet, but I could never have one. I told myself I would get one after I moved out. But, when I started college, I realised I couldn’t even raise myself, let alone another life. Then, I got recruited by SHIELD and became too busy even for myself. So, it has always been a distant dream. With my promotion, however, I have more free time and I am grown enough to be responsible for one.”

His heart melted as he imagined his girlfriend, little and jealous of her mean cousin who had a rabbit. He imagined her in pigtails as he saw her in an old family picture on her parents’ fireplace mantle, dimpled cheeks and pouty lips. He did not want to ruin her longtime dream of having a pet just because he was a little annoyed of a kitten from hell. Sure, the creature they adopt would steal away a fraction of the attention she gave him, but it was worth it if her wishes were fulfilled. It would be unfair and cowardly of him to eliminate competition altogether, just like monopolies prevalent in capitalism. He would not stoop as low as Amazon of all things. So, he gave up his pursuit and stayed quiet as she stopped by every pet from hamsters to lizards. What was even the point of them!? Doesn’t matter. She wanted one and he would help her out with it.

He walked along the dog enclosures and observed each one, trying to identify the species they belonged to. So far, he had seen Golden Retrievers (who were like his brother in form and behaviour), German Shepherds, Pitbulls, French bulldogs, Rottweilers, and even learned of a new kind called Chihuahua. Its size was inversely proportional to the rage it contained. He never stopped too long to observe any of them, but that changed when he saw a short one with unusually shaped ears.

When he asked the employee about it, he was informed that she was a Corgi, a breed favoured by the monarch of United Kingdom.

He stood knelt down in front of the cage and observed the Corgi as she played with a toy. She spun around in her position, attracting and sustaining his attention. It seemed that she had taken a liking to him. Noticing this, another employee at the store opened her cage. The puppy enthusiastically leaped out and into his arms, barking at him and showing him how wonderful she was at playing with a ball. She quickly climbed off his lap and ran in circles around him. He had to turn his head rapidly from one position to the other just to keep up with her movements. Her tail was inconspicuously small and she had the cutest little butt!

Oh, what a joy she was!

Loki couldn’t recall the last time he smiled so much over something as trivial as this.

She fell over in front of him as showed him her belly, asking to be pet. He pet her belly, bring both the puppy and himself a lot of joy. He was so distracted that he didn’t even notice his girlfriend standing by him, observing them with a huge smile on her face.

“Having fun?” She asked, snapping a picture of him as he looked at her phone.

“No, just biding time,” he said as he quickly rose from the floor, embarrassed to be found in such a position. He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck as he thought of a way to escape being teased.

“Loki, do you like the Corgi?”

She had an endearing smile on her face, very similar to the one Fluffykins inspired in her.

“Yes, she is quite adorable and terribly fluffy. Not as much as the rabbit by the entrance. We could get the rabbit, invite Karen for dinner. I’ll cook,” he offered, already a little dejected that he would never see the Corgi ever again. “Not the rabbit. I will cook food. Food that doesn’t include a rabbit,” he quickly added.

The creature had already begun pawing his shoes for attention and it took every ounce of his will power to not bend down and lift her up and into his arms. He would not let his few minutes of infatuation with a puppy overshadow her decades of desire for a pet.

“Yeah, it was very clear that you weren’t going to cook the rabbit, Lokes.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why I said that.”

She gasped and dramatically clutched her chest. “Wow, that’s the second time. You usually don’t use contractions. You love the Corgi so much that your mouth is out of control.”

“It slipped!”

“Aww, baby. Lets get the Corgi. She’s so cute and you’re so cute with her.”

“Really? But what about getting a rabbit and rubbing it in Karen’s face?”

“Oh, screw her,” she said dismissively. “I really wanted a pet and both us like this one,” she said looking down at the puppy with her sparkling joyous eyes. He finally bent down to pick up the Corgi, filled with joy as she barked. When she kissed him, his lips were stretched out in a wide grin and couldn’t even kiss her back properly. She left God and puppy behind to take care of paperwork as the two played with each other, overjoyed to have found love in the other.

**Author's Note:**

> Say hi to me on Tumblr:  
> peraltiago-bets.tumblr.com


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